Four Seasons

A love like yours fades with the season,

So teach me, love, to leave it all behind.

When the wind no longer kiss the blossoms,

And the yellow bushes will live to die,

Falling like the ice crystal clear and calm,

I melt as soon as once more I meet the sun.

Because a love like yours fades with the season,

So love me all out, then leave me behind.

My Bebe Love Movie Review

I watched My Bebe Love movie together with my 7-year-old kid and my 57-year-old mom who are also AlDub fans.They made it a point that we watch on the first day because we were not sure up until when the box-office sales will be counted. I have never watched MMFF on a first day until now, for I expect that people would really flock into the cinemas on Christmas Day. I usually let a week pass to lessen the crowd to deal with. But my mom said that we have a new record to set. Haha! I agreed. I have never seen her this much into show business and it's all because of AlDub. 

The MMFF First Day Experience

My family and I decided to see the film early that day with hope that there would be a short line in ticket booths. But we were wrong. As early as 10 AM, when people are supposed to be hunting Ninongs and Ninangs, there were a lot of people, very much comparable to a mall opening day. We rushed to the ticket booth right away so we could grab tickets, because I feared that the tickets would be sold out before lunch. After a grueling time of painstakingly lining-up to get three tickets, we finally got to take our lunch. Since we got a 1 PM screening, though we lined up at 10 AM, we decided to rush our lunch and line up in front of the cinema 1 hour before our assigned slot; that would be 12 noon. That's what we did. Unfortunately, our expectation of being 'early' for the line was not the way we expected. "Standing Room Only" says the sign. Then I asked the cinema staff, "Kuya may pila na po ba sa My Bebe Love?" Then he answered apologetically, "Ma'am pasensya na po. Hindi na po nagpapapila dahil sa dami ng tao. Pasok na lang po kayo para makakuha po kayo ng upuan." 

I was expecting to stand beside one row of seats while waiting for an hour, to see half of the movie since it's just 12 noon, and to be offered a seat after. And I was wrong again. When we entered the cinema door, my eyes widened as silhouettes of people blocked the entire passage going inside; people were packed---tightly packed. No, you could not excuse yourself and squeeze in. We had no choice but to stand and wait while we're hearing the exchange of lines in the movie. After a few minutes, the space behind us was equally packed tightly with waiting moviegoers. I felt so trapped. Nevertheless, we stick with the plan. I have to find a way to get seats for my mom and my kid.

When we heard the bloopers coming, people started moving. We are like drift wood flowing with the waves of people. I had to carry my daughter so people won't step on her, and I've asked my mom to hold me tight and stay behind me. It was like a street rally. The people don't know how to move out while others are moving in. Since the security personnel can no longer squeeze themselves in, several concerned persons shouted: "Keep right! Para makalabas sila." It was like a magic word that people on the right side allowed those who are on the left side to squeeze in so they could give way to those moving out. People had been very nice enough looking after the children and the elderly. I even saw one PWD with crutches who was ushered by a stranger so that he could move ahead, "Saglit, paunahin nyo si kuya." Facing the guy, "Kuya, una ka na po." In a time that I felt we would be crushed with the number of people, everyone had been very nice. Everyone wanted to fairly share a space in the cinema just to see the movie. Thank you AlDub Nation for helping me find seats for my kid and my mom. All love to you. 

When we are finally seated, still, people kept coming in. They occupied the stairs, the landing area of the balcony part, the space behind the seats of the orchestra part, even the sides of the rows. It's a jam-packed movie house. And we knew that everyone held their breath when the film began, just as my kid held my arm and said, "Mommy, ayan na!"

The Movie

I told myself to lessen the usual expectations that I have in my common movie experience. "Jem, this is MMFF. You know the game." I made a mental note of the things to consider before watching the movie:

1. Remember the trailer and the expectation it sets. The trailer had been very clear of what we should expect: fun and kilig-filled moments. Nothing more, nothing less.

2. Remember that the movie preparation is younger than AlDub itself. It was not expected that AlDub would be part of this, so they overhauled the storyline and officially began only last August. Thus, preps were time-constraint.

3. You are going to watch a feel-good rom-com movie and not an academy awards entry. You just need to feel the good vibes and the romance.

These things made me appreciate the movie so much and allow me to enumerate my observations:

(SPOILER ALERT: Don't read if you haven't watched the film.)

The movie opened with Vito Carillo (Vic Sotto) in a wedding photo with a pretty woman who is supposed to be the deceased mother of Anna Carillo (Maine Mendoza). With Sotto in front of a mirror, I couldn't deny that despite his age, he is still charming. Then, a confrontation between a father and a stubborn daughter hit the ground running. The litany of a too-concerned father and the struggle of a newly-grad when she has to work in her father's company. It was a great start. The scene even ended with Mendoza mocking Sotto's words. It's as if I'm not watching a comedy film. The atmosphere between the two was so stern. Then the mood changed right away with Corazon Tala-Tala (Ai-Ai Delas Alas) and Dondi (Alden Richards) were flashed on screen. It was like Delas Alas brought the fun even just with her character, while Richards, though in a different handsome packaging, charmed the audience. It was a balance of what to expect all-throughout the film: A conflict that will drive the plot, and the much anticipated fun and romance.

The Characters

 

Let's talk about Vic Sotto first. I thought that my thing for formal-looking professionals made me find Sotto charming in the opening of the movie. But as the movie goes on, I realized that it was because he is playing a role of a serious businessman who looks stiff and domineering. He is not the usual wacky character that he had been playing. He's a strict boss to Valeen Montenegro, as stern as he is with his daughter. Given that he is a widower, with a spoiled-brat for a kid, I definitely think the portrayal was near reality. The only time that he showed his wacky side was with his scene with a friend played by Joey De Leon. It was a "for the boys" usual conversation and ended up with fun for pun. Then another comic face when he was watching Delas Alas sing on stage, on top of her lungs. The rest of his scenes were serious and his lines go along well with his character. The jokes were no longer the slapstick-hitting-someone-hard-kind of comedy, but sarcasm. His character is limited to throw comedy through irony and on point punch lines. Every time Sotto argues with Delas Alas on different scenes, he consistently taunts her with his arrogance and sarcastic remarks. With the easily-pissed character of Delas Alas, the scene becomes not just a comedy, but a cliche of a blooming love affair out of conflict. Plus, Sotto reminds me of that one class bully that we secretly have a crush on. That guy who teases us until we don't have a choice but walk away. The attention they give slowly sinks in and tada! You got that childhood crush. Oh, come on! Witty bad boys were charming. What amused me most was his scene in front of his jigsaw puzzle, blankly staring at the pieces, figuring out how to put things together, literally and emotionally when he lost the two dear women in his life. That was a brief moment, but it really strikes me most. I hope Sotto could be given serious roles and make me cry one day. The biggest challenge for a comedian is to make your audience take you seriously and cry in your breaking moments. With what I've seen, I can definitely expect something like that from The Vic Sotto.

Next is Ai-Ai Delas Alas. The comedy queen made me laugh hard for a lot of times while watching. Maybe because of her 'bakya' character as Cora, or the very relational feeling of a woman who could be considered an old maid and no longer interested with love---a usual defense mechanism of women gravely hurt previously. Her confidence and ill temper made her a very typical old maid, so when she started expecting something to develop between her and Sotto, there is this sigh of relief and celebration for her new chance at love. I personally felt happy for her character and laughed at her silly moments that women usually encounter when we are into a guy. Notably, it was almost the same kilig moments of Maine Mendoza, which goes to show that romance does not change with age. That butterfly in your tummy would still be the same feeling even if you have grown older. The highlight of Delas Alas' acting for me was when she asked Richards how long he would need to study the course abroad. That moment when two years was mentioned and she turned her back against Richards, there was a sudden shift of emotion. Without a line---again, without a line---she made me understand her struggle to send him away through her facial expression, upon knowing that her beloved nephew would be away that long. The separation anxiety that almost all Filipinos know. That made me pause and thank Delas Alas for that brief touching moment. Had she talked, she could have made me cry.

Alden Richards started as the typical boy-next-door, which reminds me of his Alakdana days. The shy and gentle Dondi who stutters while introducing himself to a girl, who is overpowered by women, both Delas Alas and Mendoza, in the scenes. He was this push over of a nephew, a scared lot in front of his Aunt Cora, and a firm believer of destiny. Despite his weak character as a nephew, Dondi was a persistent admirer and a very charming one. He was a quiet boy until Anna came and turned his world upside down. He became conscious of how he looks, trying to impress a girl he likes, and quickly made all kilig-moments rolling with his girl. That is a cliche of men that no one can deny. I could say that his effect as Alden Richards was very much alike with Dondi's despite the different image he portrayed. Most likely, it would be the part of him as Richard Faulkerson Jr. Just as how Johnny Depp would say it, there is always a part of the actor that is present in all his roles. Whatever charm Richards has that transcends roles whenever he is with Mendoza, let's leave it to the phenomenon.

Maine Mendoza was amazing. Now, I don't know who resembles the real Maine Mendoza: Yaya Dub or Anna Carillo? She just changed masks. An overly confident, picky, spoiled-brat who stubbornly gets whatever she wants. I almost hated her because of her rude gestures of eye-rolling and that moment she argued when she conceitedly believes that her mom is so beautiful that she belittles Delas Alas in the process. I had to remind myself that I love Maine Mendoza. Hahaha! Anna is also a glamorous girl who can charm any guy who passes by. The way she did charm Dondi was very effective. She was that brat who can sway you into doing what she dearly wants. That kind of charm. She had been consistent with her character all throughout the film. That would be Anna, who is very not-Yaya-Dub. And I think that is the best test of talent in acting: the ability to wear faces that you've never worn before, and change them when the need arises. Mendoza doesn't only have a million facial expressions, but she would definitely portray millions of faces that I am confident she would slay.

What made me remember Kalyeserye in the movie were some scenes between Mendoza and Richards:

•  (Bulaga Pa More Finals-AlDub's first face to face meeting, with the wall and the kidnapping scene) Their first meeting in the movie. In a parking area. Turning their backs when the other was looking his/her way. With two vans. Maine peeking into the window. Looking into each others' eyes for the first time. 
• (Alden's Akyat-Ligaw in the Explorers' Mansion) First date. The ketchup instead of cake. The holding of hands.
• The almost kiss. - In all almost kisses they had in KS and TVCs

Despite all the good words I have for the artists, I have several reservations:

There were awkward moments for me as a parent. One is the conversation between Sotto and De Leon about his capacity to perform in bed. With my daughter clueless on what they were talking about, it was expected that she asked. And I found it difficult to explain as much as I find it uneasy to discuss as a woman about what these men are talking about. The punchline was good, but explaining it is a different story. The fact that you can take out the scene and the storyline won't be changed made me even frustrated. They could have considered the many kids who would be watching AlDub, one because kids love AlDub, two, because kids are rich on Christmas Day so they would definitely watch the film. Another awkward moment was the lengthy time given for Sotto and Delas Alas to exchange lines with their struggle initiating a bed scene. It could have been as wholesome as the scene under the tree, both tipsy, and an almost kiss. Cut. Then they woke up in bed. That would be less frustrating than what happened when my kid started asking again. Oh, another is when Delas Alas was walking with parted thighs. She could have held her back while walking and that would save me from, "Bakit ganon sya maglakad, Mommy?" Yes, it was rated PG, but a movie house is not a good place for sex education. I could not make my kid understand things while we're trying to enjoy the show. And sex is something I should discuss carefully with my daughter.

Next are the scenes that are too short to cultivate and develop the characters. Exchange of lines definitely make characters notable, so given the brief scenes provides less chances of a better portrayal of characters. This is why others would feel that the movie was rushed; because the scenes are fast-paced. They could have omitted several scenes that wouldn't affect the storyline. Maybe this is also affected by the exposure of side characters which are not necessary for the plot. Also, this might have been affected by the many endorsements within the film. I would like to laud this film for being discreet with the endorsements (unlike with the previous MMFF entries) though they are many, at least they were not part of the script. That was what I was thinking until the detergent commercial of Sotto serves as an intermission. Ugh. Can we just have the endorsements after the film? I bet these brands had already had their sales increase with the support of AlDub Nation even before the film. Maybe we can give the exposure to the artists instead.

Lastly, some problems were lightly dealt with such as: 

Anna's attitude problem - it was not definite what changed her mind in the end, and all those mischief went off unrebuked.

The hook up incident between Delas Alas and Sotto became a 'start' of a romantic mood which should not be the case. (Ok, ako na si Lola Nidora) The incident was not the problem of Richards and Mendoza. It was the mom-replacement issue that is their problem. The hook up was left hanging.

In the end, my expectations of My Bebe Love were met. It was filled with laughter and kilig, a celebration of life and love, and a reminder that it's never too late or too difficult to fall in love. These and all the giggles of my family are enough for me to give this movie a thumbs up. And I dream that Richards and Mendoza would be given more opportunities to explore more challenging roles.

Plunge

Leaving with you the drops I wept
For fear that they'll drown me even more.
And so I choose to swim away
a pool of memories that soaked me full.
It was worth the plunge,
but not for good.

Star-crossed

The sky speaks of space that my touch would never feel
The same space that you always see and will never reach
Let the wind blow good night kisses to you, anyway
That they bridge the space we'll never cross, then fall on your lips.

Twilight

Of all the twilight that have crossed the skyline
Yours is of the deepest shade.
Your purplish, reddish ray of living light
that spells adieu in a romantic tearful bade.

Stare

A glimpse strips me off my senses
Of all things conscious and rational
And so I look at you bare and naked
Of all logic that would hold me back
You look at me as if I'm chocolate,
dark and good for the heart
And so I melt, but not for treats.
I just melt, with a feeling to take part.

Drenched in Love

Across the waters lies a heart filled with doubts
May the waves bring it towards you for a summer bath
Bathe it with froth and wash its confused thoughts
In the middle of winds of a season of cold.

Christmas Rush

When mind rushes the pictures coming in
The emotions are by a strand left hanging
In an instant world where fast is real
Will you stop for a minute and feel?

Beyond Me and You

Really, we don't need to speak to feel,
nor to touch to hear the heart beat,
nor to look at each other's eyes to know,
and so when we do,
it's beyond feeling,
beyond listening,
beyond understanding,
beyond romance.

What goes beyond me and you---
what it is...we will know...and I pray soon.

Process All Over

I know you knew, but it was never enough
For thoughts are senseless unless spoken
For words are empty unless felt
For feelings are abstract without actions
For actions are frigid unless thought of
Then the cycle goes on
And we call it commitment

Phone Call

Anticipation follows the abrupt vibration with your name on screen,

"Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?" in slow ring.

For seconds, my mind shut blankly staring,

Then the ring worn out, missed the call for nothing.

Minutes to think and clear the mind off oblivion,

My fingers tapped "Why'd you call?" for reason,

It was a long silent moment of again, anticipation.

Then rings.

Then dreams.

Then woke up and slid my finger on screen.

Hello?

Without an idea what words would follow.

Only your voice made sense, then I fall,

With all the care you said before ending the call.

It was a goodbye that sank through my very soul,

But still a goodbye, a farewell after all.

Midnight of Dreams

When the lamp lights speak to the sparkling still water,

the moon shines with magnificence

while the night shrouds the blossoming of a new found fondness

for the stillness and silence of the lake.

And when the wind blows gently, kissing our cheeks,

the drops of drizzling dreams felt warm under a cold night sky.

But the faint and dancing lights afar nourish the hope

that the blossoms won't fleetingly lose their radiance

on a summer midnight of dreams.

Lunar Halo

Just as Sun left with a charming tip of his hat, I, Moon, greeted him with an elegant curtsy. Again, I am left with the familiar, dark and cold loneliness. Hours of dancing with the light of life is one of the best hours that I spend. Reeling like eternity with the warmth touching my cheeks is like forever that I would embrace. Though this is all that I can do. Dance in the light that he sheds for everyone, close my eyes and dream that they are mine to keep. It was a long time when I got to hold him. To shroud his light and keep it to myself. It’s like everyone coveted that moment and they looked up. Their eyes hurt. I wanted privacy. I wanted him, and I want that moment to last. It was an embrace that I get to keep his light for myself, from them, them who wish him to rise and fall, them who selfishly enjoy his warmth, them who made me just a part of his routine from dusk till dawn. That I rise when he needs to go. I, the lowly substitute of a great ball of fire, wish that his flame would consume me one time. Yes, I exist because of the littlest luminous happiness that he can share. That was unintentional for he wouldn’t even stay with me for more than a few hours. Always, he would leave. Thus, I would always wish for the warmth of Sun. For the embrace of his fire that lit the passion that I hold back. That romance that I share to lovers under my light. The intimacy holds my breath, with envy of lovers who find their souls and lunacy in my somber existence. Forever passed and so my loneliness filled me. That moment I bid him goodbye once more, is a pang I can no longer ignore. I can no longer hold back the crystal sparkles that my eyes desperately pour forth. The crystal sparkles surrounded me, keeping me company in the solitary vacuum that boxed me tonight. This ring. This halo. This silent cry of melancholy. This whimper of desperation. Yes, the people find it alluring. Once more, I would face the awe of people who believe in romance, whose passion and lust engulfed by intimacy of the night, whose arms entwined with lovers searching for their soul in the vast space called life. While I, floating with dreams, filling people with dreams, beautiful in my solitude, in a familiar, dark and cold loneliness called night.

Behind the Scene

That night tore me to who I am now. It may sound an exaggeration to write that it haunted me until today, but even the rustling of the leaves during a breezy dark night reminds me of her words for you---“Never look back.”

I can still picture your shadow while I tucked myself on the side of the church, with a lonely stare and intent to see you once more. I knew that it was so pathetic that I had to see you date someone under the romance of moonlight and pain myself with all the things that I would hear. But that was the only chance that I got to take pleasure from all that I adore in you. That night was not the same night. The tension in the air shrouded everything else more than the fog and the pine trees did. It was a night of goodbyes. For how many months, I’ve been a shadow to all your stories together, a part of the background of the feelings you didn’t name. Those things that you cherish were my memories. They were like pictures of happiness that I was never part of. A photo, I the photographer, could always admire but never take part of the moment. The golden light of the lamppost was not enough to trace the grin that she gave you. The gloom of the moment took over and the bargaining began.

 “We can’t just walk away from each other like normal people,” you told her. Though I couldn’t make out all the words, this was answered by “…it just sounds hard, harsh even, but it’s reality we have right now.” Just as how bluntly she stated those words, you reminded her of her little dream, to travel the world, go places, and live a full life. That struck you more when she said she grew out of that dream that used to have meaning for the two of you. I’ve always dreamed of being with you. I need not go to places, as long as I have you. As long as it’s your hand I’ll hold. As long as it’s you. Had it been me, I’ll spend every day without growing out of the things that I love about us. It’s just that, there is no ‘us.’ My mind would always wander in places where I can touch you, and you don’t know how much I would want that daydream to linger. Then you asked with much disappointment, “Why do you find it so easy to say goodbye?” Precisely. How can she easily say goodbye to you? I’ve been at the background of everything else between the two of you, longing to take her place. Those moments after dark till dawn. And then, when she was set to leave you, it’s quite pitiful that I remain in the background. Would there be anything else more painful than unrequited love even if the other’s already free? I knew that however all these turn out, I would always stay at the losing end.

 “Because of him? Does he compare to me?” “Do you love him?” Losing your self-worth that you began comparing yourself to that guy whom you think took your place. All I can say is that, a man could never be replaced if you’re taking up all the space. There is probably a small part where that guy entered and eventually took even your share. Then out you go. It’s not about being the best, or being better than someone else. Because you need not compete. I love the imperfect you. That makes you human. That makes you real. That made me fall for you. How I wish I could tell you that. How I wish my words would ease the pain. But my thoughts can only do so much. Only the person who caused the pain can ease it. In the end, it was never my role. Then one line from her busted my thoughts of you.

 “I never once said I loved you, did I?” I felt my blood rushed and woke me up to my senses. I could feel my clenched fist struggling to keep my anger towards her. I had to hold myself to stop from trembling. I just thought you don’t deserve those words. After all you’ve shared with her. All. With her. “We had so much between us,” you told her. But I guess the years you’ve been together meant nothing more than the fog that embraced your pain. If only I could hold you. If only I could tell you that even if we having nothing between us, you mean so much to me. So much that it pains me that I see how much she hurts you then. Still, you watched her with eyes searching for words that would cushion the blow—those eyes that bore through her long pause. Your eyes watched her lips, her action, her gaze, her expression, while I watched you lovingly stare at her every move. It was an inch of pain every time I see you look at her that way. It’s more like miles of that since I was resolved to love you despite everything else that would say no. The two of you had hellos, goodnights and see-yous, while I, silence behind the spotlight of your then seemingly endless bliss. Yours was a cycle that excludes my existence, while ours is a dream that has never begun. And never will. When she told you how much that guy is into her, I thought I heard your teeth gritted for a split-second. It may have been my imagination because it was followed by “Nice to know he’s so into you.” I guess that is the only thing you are left to say. Obviously, you don’t have a choice. All your hopes of flipping things to how you want it was no longer possible, just as how ‘us’ had been impossible for years. The only thing that was left is acceptance. Embrace the pain and let it numb you for good. I’ve been doing that for a long time, and I wonder why it still hurts. I’ve already found comfort in the idea of pain, the concept of if-onlys and the illusion of what-ifs. Her goodbye finally pushed you to say the words that would not wait for a next time—precisely because there might be no more of that.

 “I’m not leaving you,” you promised. “At some point, yes you will.” “You won’t leave me.” “At some point, I already have.” And those words foreshadowed the last line that broke you. “Never look back.” My eyes followed your every step towards the lamp light. The end of the street seemed like forever. In every step, I held my breath, waiting for that moment that you would finally let everything go. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I watch you heavily tread the path opposite her direction, the weight of every step crushing the emotions that you try to hold back. As you cut through the distance, your shadow seemed determined to stay behind. My eyes followed your every step towards the lamp light. The end of the street seemed like forever. In every step, I held my breath, waiting for that moment that you would finally let everything go. I’m sorry if I felt selfish suddenly that I wish she would start walking away. Yes, she didn’t move. She stared at you just as I did. Every step, every cringe in pain. Then you looked back. The inevitable struck me. A piercing pain thrusting into my chest made me close my eyes, hoping that they would hold the tears that would drench all that is left of me. It was pain after pain, doubling in every second. I held myself tightly, silently scoffing at the moment of insanity called hope. With eyes shut, I hugged my knees and my world shrank into oblivion. I tried listening if you would say anything that would save me.

 Complete silence.

Without looking at you, I got up and silently rushed where the fog would hide and hold the broken pieces that ache. I almost forgot that I was never even an option. It hurts that you love her so much. It hurts that we have nothing for ‘us.’ It hurts that she’s letting you go just like that. It hurts that despite your loss, I would never exist. It hurts that despite everything, you looked back. On that night, what is left to say is that I’m happy for you and I wish the two of you well. Then I look at the broken pieces of me, hoping I could still fix them. I am done living in the outskirts of your world. I guess it’s time to clear the scene. I was just a part of the fog that fills up the background of your love story, anyway.

Guise

Behind the mask frowns the smile
For the smile to cheer the rest
          was never enough for the self

Behind the mask cries the soul
For the eyes swell with sorrow
          that the mask could not hold

Behind the mask breaks a heart
That lacks the shield from any guise
          for every crack of joke to last

And so people chose to laugh aloud
          in every howl the smile blurts out
And none but one through eyes has seen
          the real solitude of years to wipe within

Takip-silim

Naghahalong liwanag

ng pulang pag-ibig

at dilim ng sasapit na gabi

muling bibighani at kakanti

sa damdaming nalulumighati

Pangarap mang halikan ng tubig ang araw na lumilisan,

kahit na ilan pang takip-silim ay di sya mapagbibigyan

Lumuha man ang tubig

lahat ay tila walang pupuntahan

muli't-muli lamang niyang tutunghayan

ang liwanag na inaasam

bumaba man ang haring araw at makipag-niig

umasa man ang tubig at patuloy na maniwala

paulit-ulit syang mabibigo

pagkat ang marubdob na halik ng araw sa tubig

ay hanggang ilusyon lamang

na pawang mga tao ang nakamamasid

mga taong walang sawang nabibighani ng ganda

ganda ng pag-ibig na bigo at walang hantungan

pagnanasang hindi kailanman pahihintulutan

hindi iuukit, hindi pagbibigyan


Hindi man tadhana na pag-ibig ay basbasan

patuloy pa rin ang takip-silim hanggang ang mundo'y imiikot

at ang tubig ay umaasa sa karimlam.

Naaalala Kita

Sa malamig na gabing tanaw ang lawa

Ating tinunghayan ang ilaw sa kalayuan

sing layo ng pangarap na suntok sa buwan

at ng ating pag-ibig na inaasam-asam

puno man ng agam-agam ang bawat hakbang

sa kung anong tutunghin at kahihinatnan,

lahat ay napapawi ng ngiting nagpalukso

sa pusong  matagal nang pinatigas at pinagyelo.


kaysarap pagmasdan ng iyong mga mata

habang ito'y nangungusap ng pag-ibig na walang duda

habang ang iyong kamay ay humahaplos sa aking balat

ramdam ko ang pagnanasang muli ika'y mayakap


hindi ko na mahintay ang muling pagdatal

ng araw na muli qng madarama

ang iyong halik

iyong yakap

iyong init

na lumusaw sa lahat ng aking pangamba.

Sipi ng Dalamhati

Kahungkagang 'di mapupunuan...
Kalungkutang 'di mawari kung sa anong kadahilanan...
Tila walang hangganan...

Katahimikan

bumibingi sa taingang naghahanap ng kasagutan

lumulunok sa aking katinuan

pumipilas sa himay ng aking puso

dumudurog sa aking pagkatao


hanap ang lambing at kalingang sa kanya lang natagpuan

umaasang, mahalin sya, ako'y muling pagbigyan

at patunayang hindi ko sya iiwan



kahit kailan

Sa Pagitan ng Gabi at Umaga

Sa pagmulat, pumupungas, aabutin ang larawan
Bubungad sa ngiti ng tila nananaginip pang katinuan
Paligid ma'y binabalot ng nakabibinging katahimikan
             Maghihintay ng mga letrang gigising sa kamalayan.

Nilalabanan ang tuksong bumalik sa paghimbing
Ang unan sa magdamag ay aking muling yakapin
Panaginip ba ay hihigit upang ito ay piliin?
             Hindi. Iiwan ang yapos ng kumot nang ika'y makapiling.

Sa pagitan ng gabi at umaga,
             may Ngiting bumubuo ng araw bago pa man ito magsimula.

Bawat Tipa ng Tiklada

Sa bawat bigkas ng salitang di naririnig

ang bawat tiklada ang nangungusap sa isip



Sinisiping ligaya at lungkot sa mga letra

Sa paglapat ng tinta, sa pagtipa sa makinilya

Doon ko rin nakilala ang kaibigang nagtiwala

Sa pagsulat ako’y muling umibig at nagpalaya



Sa bilyong tao nga naman, ang isip ay iisa

Pagtibok ng sentido, pawang gawa ng musa

Sa pagdatal ng inspirasyon, sa pagsulat ng pluma

Ugnaya’y di na lamang dugo, bagkus ay ideya



Sa iyong pagiging tunay, salamat kaibigan

Panig man ng mundo mo, sa akin ay kasukalan

‘Pagkat sa bawat bigkas ng salitang di naririnig

Ang bawat tiklada ang nangungusap sa ating isip

Gabi ng Karamdaman

Sa dilim ng gabi at sa pagpitik ng kamay ng orasan

Malilimi ng isipan ang pag-aalalang di matutumbasan

Malambot mang kama ang iyong kinalalagakan

Hindi pa rin sasapat palisin ang dinaramdam.



Ibayong pag-iingat ang mahigpit na tagubilin

Ngunit salita’y hungkag, kung salat sa pagtalima rin

Usal ang litanya ng dasal upang Kaniyang pawiin

Karamdaman sa gabing tahimik at puspos ng panalangin.

Lost

We used to dream of Atlantis

On that phone call till dawn

That evening of songs we love

With the melody of your words


We had our secrets of joys

We had our silent laughters

We had the codes of hearts

We had that chance to fall


On our table we kept

A green notebook of apple

Where we wrote our words

That our presence couldn't mutter


Writing in puzzles

Reading in Morse

Tapping that pen

Emotions that hold


But then I hang up

That night you said the word

And so 'more' mattered to me then

That night of a phone call


So we lost those "G" signs

And we lost those green notes

Then we lost the rhythm

Of drills and falls


Soon I'll be thirty

And I'm reminded how we talked

Of that number that we wished for

The day you'd find me once more


That night I lost you

That night you lost me

Then we found each other

That day we can no longer be.

Friendzone

So near yet so far.
We're together because we remain apart.


How far?
How far is the gap between my seat and yours?
How far is the distance between your glimpse and mine?
How far before my hand touches yours?
How far the water splashes from your chest to mine?


How far as we climb, are my steps from yours?
How far before you hold my arm and say you're mine?
How far should I go before I reach that title 'yours?'
How far is your smile as you sit on the space opposite mine?


How far we are, our pictures would lie.
For we've always been together, yet we've always been apart.


How far?
Too far for forever.
Sigh.

Ang Buhay Mo'y Iyo

Ang buhay mo'y iyo

kaya't huwag mag-atubili sa bawat paghakbang,

sa bawat pagkampay sa walang hanggang paglipad,

sa bawat pagtatampisaw sa luhang dulot ng mundo.


Ang buhay mo'y iyo

kaya't huwag nang maghintay ng ibang pagkakataon,

ng ibang araw upang bumangon nang paulit-ulit na may ngitii,

ng ibang gabi upang mahimbing sa pait na papawiin ng magdamag.


Ang buhay mo'y iyo

kaya't kahit ano pang dumating at umalis,

nariyan ka pa rin, at ito ay tangan mo

hanggang sa huli, hanggang 'di ka bumibitiw.


Ngunit kung minsan napapagod ka na

at nais mo munang huminto sa paglakad

o dumapo muna sa malapit na pahingahan

o umiwas sa tilamsik ng pag-ulan


nandito naman ako


Kung nais mong maghintay ng ilang minuto sa kawalan

o maghapon maglunoy sa lambot ng higaan

o manatiling gising sa buong magdamag


nandito ako


Kung sa lahat ng darating at aalis ay nais mo nang bumitiw

Huwag. Ang buhay ko rin ay akin,

Ngunit kung kailangan mo, iyo na rin.



Salamat, kaibigan,

Sa bawat pinagsaluhan nating

pagkain---masarap man o hindi

inumin---malamig man o mainit

pag-akyat---bundok man o bulkan

awitin---paper roses o kung anuman


Salamat, nakilala kita.

Salamat at kaarawan mo ngayon.

Salamat at maligayang kaarawan sa iyo.

Kahit Saan Man

Sa likod ng haligi nagkukubli ang lahat ng pagsulyap ng pag-asang may bukas kayo.

Sa likod ng haligi susulyap ang iyong halaga na mistula nang panaginip na kay tagal mo nang binitiwan at naglaho.

Sa likod ng haligi, may pag-asam, may pagsulyap, may pagsuyo
may damdaming kumukurot at nagpapaiktad sa mahiyain, mapaglaro, matatakutin mong puso.


Sa gilid ng pasilyo may tumitigil na orasan.

Sa baitang ng hagdan may hiningang napipigilan.

Sa gitna ng kalsada may hawak na ayaw mo nang bitiwan.

Sa loob ng silid may ngiting pinipigilan.


Sa pagbukas ng pinto may pagtango na tanging turan

Sa pagsara naman nito may paglingon na iniiwasan

Sa paglisan may pag-asang muling masisilayan

Sa pagbalik naman nito may kinukubling pagdiriwang.


Kahit saan man ay may damdaming umaagos

Ayaw nang umahon kahit malapit nang malunod.

Les Miserables: A Mirror of Philippine Struggle towards Real Democracy

“Red…the blood of angry men,

Black…the dark of ages past,

Red…the world about to dawn,

Black…the night that ends at last.”

-    Enjolras, Les Miserables

These are the lines of school boys anticipating the beginning of the French Revolution that would finally end the regime of the monarchs and would open doors for democracy. It is a society governed and maltreated by the rich and the powerful. Does that sound familiar? Sounds very much similar with the Philippine society, right? A society where the law favors the rich, while the poor’s justice denied. A society where the cliché “the poor gets poorer, and the rich gets richer” has never gone out of style. The question is, will you step out of the theater and sing with the rest of the nation?

Voices will be heard in the 2016 Elections and people will once more rally for change. Will the ‘revolution’ prosper or will we, once again, fail? The French Revolution fell because of several reasons that could cause our same failure. Here are three of them:

First is personal interest. Filipinos had been living in a society that pushed us to the concept of mere self-preservation. We take care of our family, our career, our connections, our development and our future. ‘Our’ became part of our best interests. It has always been what benefits us. And so people relied on dole-outs whenever rich people pretend to be generous. Then more and more beggars find livelihood in the streets. And so people vote for the one who ‘gives more.’ Then we find our professionals practicing their expertise abroad, leaving the struggling nation to the dogs. Where has the fire of patriotism gone? Where has the dignity of labor gone? When will we try to save Philippines?

Second is the lack of political will. Our leaders can do a lot of things that can bring lasting change, but they were never easy. And so they find it more convenient to build covered courts and waiting sheds with their initials than building schools and libraries. The same reason why short-term projects like feeding programs are prioritized than improving health services. And so we have job fairs that offer a six-month working contract. Just that. Our leaders lack the political will. When will we try to save Philippines?

Third is the indifference of the people. A lot of Filipinos know what to do, but we choose to do what is convenient. Just as how easy it is to cheat on our working hours, break basic traffic rules, abstain from social obligations. We always rally for the best leaders, but when did you give your end of the bargain? It takes two to tango, and in this case, we have to dance with the government. When will we try to save Philippines?

Our revolt does not end in the theater, nor in the 2016 Elections. The revolution will begin and will end only when we find ourselves on the real light of democracy.

Will you sing with me?

On Tattoos and Marriage

Marriage is the dream of most women, while tattoo is a no-no for a lot of us. But are you aware that getting a tattoo is very much like getting married? Here's why:  

Both would solicit public opinion If you don't want people taking a second glance at you when you pass by, you shouldn't get a tattoo. People will definitely look at you or at your tattoo, because it makes you different from the rest. It easily catches attention. Though some might look at it with indifference, some would admire, while others would raise their eyebrow. Nevertheless, people's reaction should never affect you. Same with marriage, people take notice when you start changing your surname in your legal documents, when you begin updating your dependents, when you apply for new IDs, and everyone greets you with 'congratulations' even if you prefer 'best wishes.' There are just a lot of people happy for you when you get married. There may be a few who would not be pleased, such as your ex, or maybe the bitter ex of your partner, or other people who simply don't understand the connection that you and your partner have.  

Both carry stereotypes Since both are subjected to public opinion, tattoo and marriage carry stereotypes. Sadly, tattoos, despite it's cultural and historical background as art and status symbol, it is now seen as something to be shun, carrying a negative connotation due to it's existence among prisoners that determines gangs. Getting a tattoo now is a no-no for a lot of people because of this. Some people judge so easily that they see delinquents on someone inked. What about marriage? Women carry a lot of stereotypes when married. They should master the household chores, they should contribute to the husband's responsibility of providing for the family, they should bear a child and should be hands-on moms, lastly, they should be better than other women to keep their husbands. I bet marriage sounds much more difficult than getting a tattoo on this aspect.

Both require preparation and maturity You can't just jump into a tattoo shop and get inked, nor can you run into a priest and get married. Both requires preparation which you need to work on for quite some time. There are things to consider before getting inked:

• Are you ready for a permanent mark on you?
• Are you willing to wait for a year before you can donate blood?
• Wouldn't there be any member of your family who will need blood transfusion?
• Are you willing to bear social stereotypes and embrace public attention?
• Are you sure your body features will no longer change ('cause it may alter the design in the process)?
• Will you 'always' love to see that design on you? A lot of things change: preferences, passion, romance, even partners. Make sure that your design claims lifetime.

What about marriage?

• Are you ready to lose the independence of deciding on your own?
• Are you ready to allot more of your time, resources and effort for your family against all that is bachelor?
• Are you willing to adjust on a lot of individual differences that you and your partner need to compromise?
• Are you ready for the sacrifices that follow child-rearing?
• Are you financially and emotionally ready to raise a family?
• Will your partner qualify for lifetime commitment?
• Do you see yourself committing to your partner till the end?

Both are permanent, so both need lifetime commitment One of the things that make tattoos and marriage a decision difficult to make is that they are permanent. Since there are a lot of things that inevitably change through the years, one should consider 'lifetime' as span of the decision. Fickle-minded people can't be inked nor married. If you find yourself shifting from one decision to another overtime, most likely, you will end up having your tattoo erased, which is, by the way, much more painful and much more expensive (than getting inked). Or you will end up divorced, which is much more painful (for your kids) and much more expensive (than the wedding). Commitment does not mean that you won't deal with times that you want your tattoo erased or you want to have your marriage annulled. Commitment is finding (which requires effort) to fall in love with your tattoo or your partner over and over again. Remember why you had one in the first place. Never get inked or married if you are not ready, because erasing a tattoo or nullifying a marriage leaves scars that time can't undo.

Alaala ng Wika

Mumunting labi mo ang unang nagturan sa aking diwa, kaalinsabay ng iyong pagsilang
Impit na iyak ng kawalang-malay, nangangalap ng kahit na katiting na kaalaman.
Sa likod ng mga hikbi namutawi ang mga pantig na umihip na sa aki’y nagbigay-hininga
Iyong unang bigkas, unang tuklas, unang pagkatuto, naging aking kaluluwa.

Niyakap kita ng aking mga tunog, umasang kahit katiting ay iyong malingap
At sa bawat pantig na iyong dinampot at pumaimbulog sa iyong katabilan
Ako ay hinubog mo sa paisa-isang pantig, paisa-isang kataga, paisa-isang katuwiran
Sa iyong kamusmusan, ang titik at balarila ko’y hinulma ng iyong pangangailangan.

Nangusap sa’yo hindi lamang ang mga letra, maging ang ritmo at musika
Sa likas na pagsaliw ng kamalayan sa indak ng himig, ako’y iyong pinagyaman.
Sa paglawak ng tahakin ng iyong musika, inilipad nang malaya, gayundin ang iyong diwa
Pinayabong ang dating uutal-utal ng nangingiming tapang at talas ng dila.

Nagsimula kang maglimbag ng mga pananaw na kumakapit sa mga taong may bahid-dungis
Ibinato, isinampal, pinamukha mo ang saysay ng buhay na hindi nakikinita ng mga hangal at talunan
Ginuhit ng iyong pluma, tinta ay dugo, nang ako’y maging pangakong sumisilip sa kasarinlan
Hinabi mo ako sa himig ng katapangan, paninindigan, talino at pagmamahal sa iyong bayan.

Hinasa at pinagtibay ng talino at pananaw, tila palasong tatarak sa sinumang humadlang
Naging sandata mo ako sa pakikidigma, pangangatwiran, paghahanap ng kalayaan
Ang mapagpalayang diwa, kinatawan ang pluma, yumakap sa alumpihit at mailap na pag-asa,
Nagsaboy ng kamalayan sa mga naulila, nagpaningas ng apoy ng minimithing…wala.

Wala dahil wala na ang alindog ng aking salita, sa taingang nabighani ng tunog-banyaga
Wala na sa pinaka-wala ang pag-unawa sa akin na dati’y sinlinaw ng iyong bawat kataga
Wala na ang apoy na nagniningas sa bawat pagsambit ng aking panitikan, titik at musika.
Wala na nga, wala.

 Sa bawat sampal ng banyagang dila sa tuwing ako’y kagyat mong gagamitin
Sa bawat sandaling pinaaasa mo akong, iyong bigkas, muli akong wiwikain
Bigo kong sinasahod aking mga luha, kinikimkim mga tanong na puno ng ‘bakit?’
Ngunit bigo.
Patuloy na nabibigo.
Dahil sa kabila ng lahat ako’y nilimot mo.

Nilimot mo ang ating suyuan sabay sa pagkaanod palayo sa iyong pinagmulan
Inanod, kumaway at nagpaalam ang kasarinlang ngayon, hindi mo na nauunawaan.
Tanging wikain na lamang ang natitirang nagbubuklod, ngunit hindi ng buong bayan
Ang buhay kong nakabingit sa iyong naghihingalong alaala, ituring mo, hanggang kailan?

Pilipino ka pa nga ba kapag ako ay nawala?
Pilipino pa ba ang kultura mong ‘di na ko kinikilala?
Pilipino pa ba kung ang wikang umaruga sa iyo ay tinalikuran mo na?
Pilipino ka pa ba?
Kung hindi, ano na?

Panunuluyan

*Dahil panahon na naman ng Simbang Gabi, narito ang una kong pagsubok na sumulat ng isang maiksing dula para sa Panunuluyan. Nangangarap pa rin ako hanggang ngayon na ito'y maitanghal. Dating nai-post sa knowingropes.com. Maligayang Pasko sa ating lahat!

Mga Tauhan:
Koro: dalawampu’t limang aktor
Anghel Gabriel
Maria
Jose

Unang Pinto
Batang Mayaman
Yaya
Mommy

Ikalawang Pinto
Batang Mahirap
Nanay
Tatay
Kumpare

Ikatlong Pinto
Party girl 1
Party girl 2
Party girl 3
Daddy sa Gobyerno

Ikaapat na Pinto
Asawa ng OFW
OFW
Anak ng OFW

Tableau:
Tatlong Haring Mago
Batang Pinoy: Mula sa koro

Stage Directions: (Nakatayo sa kanang bahagi ng stage si Anghel Gabriel, may pakpak na puti, nakasuot ng puting telang nababalot sa katawan at ang hugpungan ay nasa balikat.)

(Unang Freeze Frame: Nasa gitnang unahang bahagi ng stage sina Maria at Jose. Si Maria ay aktong inaalalayan ni Jose sa paglakad, nakatingin ang mag-asawa sa direksyon ng unang pinto.)

(Unang Pinto: Ang Batang Mayaman at Yaya ay nasa kaliwang unahang bahagi ng stage, may mesang may pulang mantel, ang hapag ay puno ng pagkain, nakaupo sa likod ng marangyang hapag-kainan ang Batang Mayaman habang nakatingin sa kanyang relo. Nakatayo sa tabi n’ya ang Yaya, nakayuko. Sa likod ni Yaya ay may Christmas Tree na walang bituin.)

(Ikalawang Pinto: Ang Nanay, Tatay, at Anak ay nasa kanang unahang bahagi ng stage. Ang nanay at tatay ay magkaharap, aktong nag-aaway. Ang nanay ay nakaturo sa isang kamay na nakalahad, samantalang nakataas ang kanang kamao ng tatay, nakakuyom. Ang anak ay nakaupo sa isang sulok, nakatalungko, nakatakip ng mga palad ang magkabilang tainga. May pinto sa gilid ng mag-asawa.)

(Ikatlong Pinto: Ang tatlong Party Girls ay nasa isang club. Nakaupo sa harap ng isang mataas na mesa ang Party Girl 2, may hawak na kopita ng alak, nakatingin sa kawalan. Ang Party Girl 1 ay aktong papunta sa direksyon ng Party Girl 2 kasabay si Party Girl 3. Si Party Girl 2 ay nakataas ang kamay, aktong sumasayaw at may hawak na kopita ng alak. Si Party Girl 3 ay may hawak na kopita ng alak.)

(Ikaapat na Pinto: Mama, Papa (OFW), Anak. May pader na naghihiwalay sa OFW at sa kanyang pamilya. Sa kanang bahagi, nakaupo ang OFW, nakaharap mesa, sa ibabaw ang mga laptop.Sa kaliwang bahagi ang pamilya ng OFW. Ang anak ay nakaupo, nakaharap sa mesa, sa ibabaw ang laptop. Ang nanay ay nasa likod ng bata, nakayuko para makita ung screen ng laptop, hawak ang balikat ng bata.)

(Lights off. Sound: trumpet. Spotlight kay Anghel Gabriel.)

Anghel Gabriel: “Maglilihi ang isang dalaga at manganganak ng lalaki, at ito’y tatawaging EMMANUEL.”

(Lights off. Bababa si Anghel Gabriel mula sa platform, papasok sa loob ng Tableau na natatakpan ng tela, habang tinugtugtog ang Payapang Daigdig sabay ang spotlight na tututok paisa-isa sa lahat ng freeze frames mula kina Maria at Jose, papunta sa unang pinto, papunta sa ikalawang pinto, papunta sa ikatlong pinto, papunta sa ikaapat na pinto, saka titigil, nakatutok sa Koro, titigil din ang musika, susundan agad ng Koro.)

 Koro:
Nilaan ng Panginoon, anak N’yang tagapagligtas,
At sa gabi ng pagsilang, hanap ay yakap ng pagtanggap.
Mayroon pa bang pusong handang magbukas,
Kung ang pintuan ng pagmamahalan ay nakapinid at di mahagilap? 

(Spotlight kina Maria at Jose) 

Maria: (Titingin sa kanyang esposo, hahawak sa braso nito at may pag-aalalang magsasalita)
Malayu-layo na rin ang ating nalakbay, subalit hindi pa rin tayo makahanap ng matutuluyan.

Jose: (Hahawakan ang kamay ni Maria na nakadampi sa kanyang braso, at magsasalita na puno ng katiyakan)
Huwag kang mag-alala mahal ko. May natatanaw na akong malapit na bahayan. Sana’y may mabuting loob na magbubukas ng pinto at tatanggap sa atin.

(Lilinga sa paligid at tila may makikita)

Ayun!

(Tuturo sa direksyon ng unang bahay, titingin ulit kay Maria, magsasalita ng buong galak)

May isang bahay!

(Hahakbang ng ilang beses papuntang kanang bahagi ng unang pinto sina Maria at Jose habang tumutugtog ang Payapang Daigdig, titingin sa direksyon ng bahay, freeze frame, freeze music)

(Lights off. Sound: bumubukas na pinto. Spotlight sa unang pinto) Batang Mayaman: (Ang bata ay titingin sa Yaya n’ya at may pagkainip sa sasabihin)

Wala pa ba, yaya? (Titingin ang bata sa relo, pagkatapos ay sa dalawang bakanteng upuan ng hapag kainan)

Yaya: Wala pa po eh.Baka na-delay po ulit ang flight nila.

Batang Mayaman: (may panlulumong sasabihin)
Gaya ng dati, wala na naman sila. Sabi ni Papa, s’ya ang magkakabit ng star sa Christmas tree.

(Titingin ang bata sa Christmas tree na walang bituin sa tuktok)

Yaya: Huwag po kayong mag-alala, nandito naman po ako. Hindi rin naman po ako pinayagan ni Ma’am umuwi ng probinsya.

(Lalapit ang yaya sa bata. Nakaupo ang bata, yayakapin n’ya ang yaya.Nakatayo ang yaya. Freeze frame)

(Lights off. Spotlight sa Koro)

Koro: Karangyaan nga ba ang mukha ng kapaskuhan?
Nag-uumapaw na hapag ba ang bubusog sa kakulangan?
Kung ang pamilya ay uhaw, gutom sa pagsasama-sama, pagmamahalan,
Puso ba’y handang magbukas para sa diwa ng pagbibigayan?

(Lights off. Spotlight kina Maria at Jose)

Maria: (Titingin kay Jose nang may panghihinayang)
Mukhang hindi tayo maaaring tumuloy sa tahanang ito, mahal ko.

Jose: (Titingin kay Maria) Mukhang hindi nga. (pause) Hindi pa. 

(Lalakad ang mag-asawa ng dahan-dahan papunta sa kaliwang bahagi ng ikalawang pinto habang tinutugtog ang Payapang Daigdig. Titigil ang kanilang paglakad pati ang musika at saka titingin muli si Maria kay Jose)

Maria: (Nakaturo) Dito kaya sa isang ito?

(Freeze frame. Lights off. Sound: bumubukas na pinto. Magpapalit ang tunog, magiging ingay ng kalsada, busina ng mga sasakyan at sigaw ng mga tao sa kalye. Spotlight sa ikalawang pinto)

Nanay: (Nakalahad ang palad, hawak ang ilang piraso ng beinte pesos, pasigaw na magsasalita sa asawa)

Ano ‘to? Pambili ng noodles?! Noodles ngayong Noche Buena?! Ano’ng mabibili nito? Mamamatay na kami ng anak mo sa gutom!

Tatay: (Pasigaw na sasagot sa asawa)
Ano bang pinagsasasabi mo d’yan? Nahuli kasi kami ni Pareng Kardo. Naipampadulas pa namin yung huling pasada namin. Di bale, kapag nakakita ako ng pasaherong mayaman, didiskarte kami! Huwag ka nang tumalak!

Nanay: Paano’ng di ako tatalak?! Oh, heto! Pinalalayas na tayo dito!
(Ibabato ang notice of eviction)
Sana may magawa ang bebentehin mo para mapigilan ang buldoser! Wala na ngang makain, mawawalan pa ng bahay!

Tatay: (Hand gestures) Kasalanan ko ba ‘to? Ano’ng gusto mong gawin ko?! Kumerengkeng ka ng maaga tapos magrereklamo ka?!

Nanay: (Hand gestures) At ako pa ngayon ang may kasalanan?! Kung di ka ba naman…

Anak: (Aawat ang anak na nanahimik kanina sa isang sulok) Tama na po!!!

(Freeze frame. Lights off. Spotlight sa Koro)

Koro:
Kung hindi karangyaan, kahirapan ba ang sagot sa tunay na pagdiriwang?
O binubulag na tayo ng materyal na pangangailang lumalason sa ating katinuan?
Ano ba ang sukatan ng pamilyang busog sa pagmamahalan?
Karangyaan? Kahirapan? Pagsasama-sama?
Saan ba mahahanap ang pinto ng kapaskuhan?

(Lights off. Spotlight kina Maria at Jose)

Maria: (Nanlulumong magsasalita) Mas lalong hindi tayo maaaring makisiksik sa kanila, mahal ko.

Jose: (Buong katiyakang sasabihin) Huwag kang mawalan ng pag-asa. May mahahanap din tayong bukas na tahanang handang tumanggap sa atin.

(Lalakad papuntang kanang bahagi ng ikatlong pinto ang mag-asawa habang tumutugtog ang Payapang Daigdig)

Jose: Magbakasakali tayo rito, mahal ko.

Maria: Sana nga ay patuluyin tayo.

(Freeze frame. Lights off. Sound: bumubukas na pinto. Spotlight sa ikatlong pinto)

(Magpapalit ang tunog, magiging upbeat music for club, lights blinking, spotlight on)

Party girl 1: (Tumayo sa tabi ni Party Girl 2, nanunuya)
Hey, look who’s here? Heard your mom’s Christmas gift is a Porsche. Wanna give us a ride?

Party girl 2: (Hindi titingin sa kausap. Nakatingin lang sa alak na iniinom)
Nah. I’m not even using it. Never would I.

Party girl 3: (Ilalagay ang kamay sa bewang, di makapaniwala) And why not?!

Party Girl 2: (Bibiling ng kaunti ang ulo) Duh? Kapag lahat ng tao, iniisip na galing sa tax nila ang iniluluho mo, sino’ng gaganahang mag-drive ng Porsche?

Party girl 1: Well, you can’t blame them girl!

Party girl 2: I don’t. Wala naman silang kasalanan, eh. Lahat ng ‘to kasalanan ni Daddy.
(Ibabagsak ang kopita sa mesa, galit) He’s in a coma while he left us to deal with this mess. I hate him. (Iritable) Ni ayoko ngang umuwi ngayon dahil wala na kong mukhang ihaharap sa family reunion this Christmas eve.

Party Girl 3: Oh well, you can’t choose family. (Makikipag-toast kay Party Girl 2)

(Freeze frame. Lights off. Spotlight sa Koro)

Koro:
Kung yaman at pangangailangan ay hindi na alalahanin,
Makakapagdiwang ka na ba ng Paskong puno ng ngiti at panalangin?
Kung pamilya’y pinalitan na ng ningning ng luho at kapangyarihan,
Maririnig pa ba ang iyak ng pagmamahal sa gitna ng ingay ng mundong lunod sa kamunduhan? 

(Lights off. Exit ang koro habang tumutugtog ang Payapang Daigdig. Pagkababa ng Koro, spotlight kina Maria at Jose, lalakad ang mag-asawa papunta sa gitna ng stage)

Maria: (Mapapaluhod, yuyuko, sapo ng palad ang mukha, iiyak, hikbi)

Jose: (aaluin si Maria) Mahal ko, darating din ang panahon na pagbubuksan nila tayo ng pintuan ng kanilang mga puso. Tahan na.

Maria: (titingin kay Jose na may mga luha at magsasalita sa pagitan ng mga hikbi) Masakit lang para sa akin na patuloy nila tayong ipinagtatabuyan kahit pa magandang balita ang ating hatid.

Jose: Hindi natin kayang pangunahan at panghawakan ang kanilang mga puso, mahal ko. Maaring hindi pa panahon para yakapin nila ang pagpapala ng Diyos. (aalalayan ni Jose si Maria para makatayo, lalakad muli ang mag-asawa papunta sa kanang bahagi ng huling pinto habang tumutugtog ang Payapang Daigdig, magkakatinginan ang mag-asawa)

 Maria: Sana. Jose: Sana.

 (Titingin sa pinto. Freeze frame. Lights off. Sound: bumubukas na pinto. Spotlight sa ikaapat na pinto)

Anak ng OFW: Papa, hindi ko hihilingin na nandito ka ngayon dahil alam kong para sa amin kaya kailangan natin magtiis na magkahiwalay. Huwag po kayong mag-alala, darating ang araw, hindi n’yo na po kailangang umalis. Ako na po ang bahala sa inyo ni Mama.

OFW: (Maluluha, pupunasan ng pasimple ang luha) Salamat, anak.‘Yan na ang pinakamagandang regalong natanggap ko ngayong Pasko. Mahal na mahal ko kayo ng Mama mo.

Anak ng OFW: (May pag-aalala) Mahal ka rin po namin. Umiiyak ka ba, Papa?

OFW: (iiling) Naku, hindi anak. Masaya lang si Papa na kausap ko kayo ngayong bisperas. Teka, nakapamigay na ba ng pansit sa kapitbahay si Mama mo?

 Asawa ng OFW: Oo naman, mahal! Gaya ng gusto mo taun-taon. (Titingin sa relo) Alas-dose na! Merry Christmas!

 OFW at anak: Merry Christmas! (Yayakapin ng Mama ang anak, ang anak ay titingin sa screen, ilalapat ang palad nya dito, ilalapat din ng Papa ang palad nya sa screen.

(Freeze frame. Lights off. Spotlight kina Maria and Jose. Titingin si Maria kay Jose. Ang Mommy na pauwi na ay aakyat na kanang itaas na bahagi ng stage.)

Maria: Sa wakas mahal ko.

Jose: Sa wakas. (Ituturo ang direksyon ng sabsaban.) Doon tayo pwedeng tumuloy. Tara na, para makapagpahinga na tayo.

(Lalakad ang mag-asawa papuntang sabsaban, habang tumutugtog ang Payapang Daigdig, hanggang sa makapasok sila sa likod ng tela. Lights off)

(Tututok ang spotlight sa unang pinto, magri-ring ang cellphone, dadamputin ng bata ang phone)

Batang Mayaman: Hello, mommy. Don’t worry, I understand. Sanay na naman ako. Nandito naman si Yaya.

 Mommy: Pasensya na anak kung late kami ni daddy. Pauwi na kami! Hahabol kami sa Noche Buena. Mula ngayon, lagi mo na kaming makakasama lalo na sa mahahalagang okasyon.

Batang Mayaman: Wow! Talaga po?!

Mommy: Oo, anak. Pangako. Pakipasa kay Yaya ang phone. (Ipapasa ng bata kay Yaya ang phone)

Yaya: (May pag-aalala) Hello ma’am?

Mommy: Pwede ka nang umuwi ng probinsya. Habang wala pa kami, mag-empake ka na.

Yaya: Naku! Maraming salamat po, ma’am!

Mommy: (May pagbabanta) Pero uuwi ka kaagad, ok?!

Yaya: (Malungkot) Po?

Mommy: (Tatawa ng mahina) Biro lang. Basta bumalik ka sa January para maayos natin ang insurance mo.

 Yaya: (Sobrang saya) Salamat po ma’am!!! Merry Christmas po!

(Lights off. Tututok ang spotlight sa ikalawang pinto)

Anak: (Umiiyak) Pagod na ko sa mga away. Parang awa n’yo na. (matitigilan ang mag-asawa)

Nanay: Sorry, anak. (Lalapit sa anak at yayakapin ito)

Tatay: Sorry, nagpapaapekto kami masyado sa mga problema.

Nanay: Kakayanin natin ang lahat ng ito basta magkakasama tayo, di ba ‘tay? (Titingin sa asawa na may pagsisisi sa mga masasakit na nasabi)

Tatay: (Titingin sa asawa ng may pagsisisi, pupunasan ang luha sa pisngi ng asawa) Oo naman, ‘nay. (Titingin sa anak at hahawakan ang ulo nito) Tahan na, anak. (Magyayakap ang pamily. Dadaan si kumpare)

Kumpare: (Sisilip sa pintuan, masaya) Pare! Nabalitaan mo na ba ang regalo ni Mayor?

Tatay: (‘Di makapaniwala) Regalo? Uso ‘yon kay Mayor?

Kumpare: (Tatawa ng mahina) Maniwala ka man o hindi, i-eextend daw hanggang January ang pagtigil natin dito! Magbagong taon daw muna tayo. Mas mahabang panahon para makalipat sa binigay nilang lugar.

Tatay: (malungkot) Kaso probinsya naman ang pagdadalhan sa atin.

Kumpare: Ok lang pare, may itinatayong bagong mall malapit dun! Pwede tayong mamasukan. Priority daw ang mga kasama sa government transfer!

Tatay: Ayos yun ah! Sige pare, mag-ayos na tayo ng requirements! Salamat! (Kakaway ang tatay kay kumpare, kakaway at aalis si kumpare. Aakyat na sa kanang itaas na bahagi ng stage ang Daddy sa gobyerno.)

Nanay: Ang gandang pamaskong regalo ng balitang ‘yon, tay.

Tatay: (Masaya) Merry Christmas sa atin!

Nanay at anak: Merry Christmas! (Magyayakap ang pamilya)

 (Lights off. Tututok ang spotlight sa ikatlong pinto. Magri-ring ang phone)

Party Girl 2: (Titingin sa mga kaibigan) Unknown number?

Party Girl 1: Sagutin mo na. Hindi naman siguro bad news yan.

Daddy: Anak, Daddy ‘to. Nakauwi na ako galing ospital! Gusto ko sanang bumawi sa lahat ng kasalanan ko. I’m sorry you have to go through all the problems I left behind. Pangako, gagawin ko ang lahat para dumating ang araw na maipagmamalaki mong anak kita. Sana makauwi ka ngayong Pasko. Mahal na mahal kita, anak.

Party Girl 2: (Naiyak, magpupunas ng luha) Yes, Daddy. Uuwi na po ako. Pwede bang humingi ng pabor pagdating ko dyan?

Daddy: Oo naman, anak. Ano yun?

Party Girl 2: Pakisauli n’yo na ni Mommy ‘yung Porsche. Ok na sa ‘kin ang family car. Enjoy naman akong kasabay sa mga lakad si Abbie. Sister-bonding, di ba?

Daddy: (Tatawa ng mahina) Walang problema. ‘Yon lang pala. We’ll start anew and we’ll start things right. Merry Christmas, anak!

Party Girl 2: Merry Christmas, Daddy! (Ibababa ang phone)

Party Girl 3: So uuwi ka na pala.

Party Girl 2: Yup. Kayo?

Party Girl 1: Well, dahil medyo naluha ako sa drama mo kanina. Na-miss ko bigla family ko. So yeah, uuwi na rin ako.

Party Girl 3: Alangan namang mag-isa lang ako dito di ba? Tara, uwi na tayo. I’ll drive you, guys, home.

(magto-toast ang mga babae, habang umaakyat sa kanang unahang bahagi ng stage ang isang Batang Pinoy)

Party Girls: Merry Christmas!!!

(Lights off, Spotlight sa Batang Pinoy, habang nagsasalita ang bata, ang mga tauhan ay pupunta sa gitna ng stage, pwesto para sa sayaw.)

Batang Pinoy: Ngayong gabi, ating natunghayan ang lahat ng pagkakataon kung saan inaakala natin na sumasaatin na ang diwa ng Kapaskuhan. Inaakala natin na ang pagdiriwang, ang handaan, ang mga regalo at kung anu pang mga materyal na bagay ang magpapasaya sa ating Pasko. Higit sa lahat ng ito ay ang pagmamahalan ng bawat tahanan. Maligayang Pasko sa ating lahat!

(Lights on, papasok ang mga anghel at magsasaya, ang bata at iba pang mga tauhan ay sasama sa pagsayaw ng mga anghel)

(pagkatapos ng pagsayaw, tutunog ang trumpeta at lahat ay titingin sa direksyon ng sabsaban. Aalisin ang telang nagkukubli dito at malalantad ang tableau kung saan naroon si Maria karga ang batang Hesus, sina Jose at Anghel Gabriel, tutugtog ang Payapang Daigdig. Aakyat ang tatlong haring mago at pupwesto sa tableau.)

(Muli, sasayaw ang mga anghel ng ilang minuto para i-wrap ang presentation. Tapos, sila ay uupo sa gilid ng stage bago magsimula ang misa)

Stages of Maturity

Teenagers frequently ask when the real marrying age is. I would always answer, "It depends." Getting married is not determined by numbers. It's not a race, and would never be a contest. It can't be measured, but can be determined. How? Maturity. It also doesn't follow that if a person is of legal age, s/he is already mature. Emotional maturity develops at a different rate than that of physical. Here are some of the stages of maturity that you might be in right now. You might have skipped one or two, or you could have experienced all of them. Who knows? You might have been going in circles.You might also consider evaluating your current stage where you are sinking, and eventually pull yourself up and jump to a better stage. *Please note that the list is made regardless of age and is written in no particular order. :)  

The Fairy Tale Stage This stage includes girls who usually find boys ideal because of mere looks. This is comparable with the admiration we feel when we're fangirling. That shallow. It's just that, the fairy tale stage fools girls that they are already in love. This is brought by a couple of reasons: First, there is no point of comparison except fairy tales where girl meets boy, boy is charming, in an instant they got married, then lived happily ever after. Girls need to understand the real game. That is why the concept of not marrying a guy you just met in the critically-acclaimed animated film Frozen marks a good start for little girls adopting reality about relationships. Second, the concept of a good partner is not yet introduced to girls aside from the usual things they observe from the men they know. This is why a good father figure is very much needed in a family; much more needed by daughters because they become the standards of who is worth considering. The lower the standards fathers project, the lamer the guys, their daughter dates. Their dates may reflect similarities of the father's personality or the lack thereof. Third, girls are too young to see the big picture that whatever they feel should end in a commitment and not just a relationship. Most likely, they are yet to understand what commitment is. Not surprising because even adults find it difficult understanding such concept. Sadly, there are girls who remain in this stage simply because they do not observe what happens around them. They fail to see that there is more in a man than charms.  

The Need-to-Belong Stage When girls started to focus on socializing, their need to find a particular environment where they belong becomes a necessity. It becomes so important for them to know that they are not very much different from the rest. It gives them the assurance that they are normal and that they meet a particular societal standard of who they have to be. Here come stereotypes. Girls begin to see stereotyping as basis of 'shoulds.' Later, they would see that they 'should' be in a relationship, without understanding why. This is when they start to doubt if they are normal when they remain single while others start early in relationships. Then they begin to doubt if they are attractive. Thus, producing a lot of insecurities. In order to solve these insecurities, some resort to doing what everybody else does. There came peer pressure. So they get a boyfriend because of stereotypes, insecurities and peer pressure. Good? Nah.  

The Independent-Dependent Stage When girls finally gathered enough confidence to go on their own, they start filling their world with concepts of independence from a lot of things, even from their parents who can actually guide them through in the critical stage of knowing more about oneself. Not having anyone else but yourself then becomes a struggle through loneliness that girls begin searching for someone who can fill the space that they created in the first place. So you got a boyfriend, this time, for you not to be lonely. Wrong move. Why? When you engage in a relationship to solve loneliness, gradually, you would start to cling and make your partner the centerpiece of your life. You need to be happy with the independence that singlehood provides even before you understand the real happiness that a commitment brings.  

The Adventurous/Rebellious Stage This stage focuses on the curiosity that girls try to satisfy. They become so curious on a lot of things that they 'experiment' even in relationship. It was like testing water in different barrels. So you got a boyfriend because you want to know how it feels like having one? Or how it is being a particular guy's girl? And another guy's girl? And another? And another? Or being the third wheel? Or without strings attached? The questions eventually lead to the things that girls are taught not to try. And some followed while others tried. Sometimes, not only because of curiosity, but to deliberately piss their parents who said "don't." This stage brings poor choices of partners because the goal is to satisfy the negative emotions that dominate a person. Also, when relationships are built on curiosity, it eventually ends when all things are already discovered. The 

Learn-about-Yourself Stage It is either through previous mistakes or observation of others that helps us learn more about ourselves. Most of the time, girls fail to grow up in relationships because they look into the mirror too often and they look into themselves less. Learning who you are is a task that needs a lot of time and effort. Why? Because everyone grows using a patchwork personality, our initial self, built on the patches of other people's personality woven together, then we own in the process. People who don't exert effort in reflecting and letting go of their patchwork self will never find who they really are. Personally, it took me until early twenties before I finally let go of that. Until now, I'm still trying to find the pieces of the real me that are missing. Girls who get acquainted with themselves, even not fully, would start a relationship right. Why? Because they already have an idea on what they want and what they are willing to keep. Not based on others' preferences, but theirs.

 The Broken Stage And so the baptism of fire. No observation nor studies would prepare you for the pain of being broken. You may read a lot about them, but nothing can possibly help you out of it except yourself. You just need to understand and accept that this stage happens and this too shall pass. It isn't easy. You might get depressed in the process. You might think of giving up on love. You might hate and wrinkle yourself all your life. You might generalize that men are all alike. You might consider being a man, since you find yourself a better lover than any that you knew. You might choose the safe zone and never risk again. You might decide on a lot of possibilities, but what matters is how you would pick your pieces and heal. So you got somebody to help you heal? Bad move. There isn't anyone who can help you heal but yourself. Key is acceptance. If you find the solution from somebody else, you would end up going back to the dependent stage. The relationship that you 'used' as solution will eventually perish because of the emotional baggage that you bring with you. Learn to let go so that you can give way for better things to hold onto.  

The Need-to-Marry-Bear-Children Stage Women who rush things because of a lot of justifiable and practical reasons end up picking the wrong choices. We don't marry just to bear children. We are not animals that need to breed offsprings. We are people. We feel. We seek happiness. So we shouldn't rush. Take your time. Embrace it. Enjoy whatever life offers. Readiness will come when you least expect it. When it does meet you, fulfillment would follow.  

The Stage to Finally Marry When girls finally learned that

• love stories do not end in happily-ever-after, but in fact, starts;
• you need to let go of the stage of trying to belong because we are supposed to be unique and great in our own right;
• a relationship is not a solution to any problem, nor a way to fix yourself;
• you need to find yourself before finding somebody you can be happy with;
• pain comes with love; they're inseparable, so if you can't risk yourself on both, don't dare;
• weddings mark the start, not only of a relationship, but a commitment;
• happiness was never a race, so take your time and enjoy; let yourself grow;

Because the best fruits savored are those that naturally ripen. There are things that we simply can't rush, even in a digital and instant world.

The Deathbed of Bayanihan

One of the most notable traits of Filipinos is our culture of Bayanihan. Coming from the root word "bayan" which means country, and "bayani" which means hero, Bayanihan is indeed a source of Pinoy pride. That's what I learned in my elementary Civics and Culture subject. And just as how the bahay-kubo (nipa hut) that is transferred from one barangay to another became almost obsolete, so is Bayanihan. When I was a kid, whenever I was asked to picture Bayanihan in my mind, I would always think of the nipa hut with all the people struggling to transfer it to another barangay. And until now, books of my daughter would have the same concept. Honestly, who transfers nipa huts in cities? Even provinces mostly have concrete houses now. Anyway, Bayanihan would always include a house in the picture. A modernized version will be people building houses for the homeless. Most of the time, there would be celebrities or political figures holding construction materials for their publicity pictures. There are those that really show sincere heroic deeds that fit the definition, but they are so rare that we only see them during "great hopelessness" and "utter despair." According to pinoy.md, this is how Bayanihan should be defined: That is why we are acquainted with this supposed to be Filipino tradition only and only if lives are lost or will be lost. Our concept of Bayanihan is not transferable. We don't recognize opportunities for this when we're faced with a different scenario. Remember that it is heroism, and the only thing that makes it different is that, it's communal. We find heroism within us during calamities, where people don't ask for anything in exchange of what they can give: time, effort, resources, prayers and all things we are capable of sharing. Also, donations flood when there are people asking for financial help because they are dying, or they are inflicted by an expensively-treated ailment. In general, Filipinos are generous and we can still count on each other in times of emergency, in times of suffering, in times of hopelessness. Sadly, Bayanihan turned out to be a mere occasional Filipino trait. We possess it only when we're at the brink of losing humanity. What breaks the culture of Bayanihan is losing any of it's components: (1) patriotism, (2) love for others and (3) unity On the death bed of Bayanihan, loom the following:

• Sin of omission - when we think of ourselves than stand against what we know is wrong.
• Greed - when we think of ourselves and value only those that benefit us, regardless if they are right or wrong.
• Self-entitlement - when we think of ourselves, our wants---everything that we should work hard for, yet we want to gain them easily.
• Indifference - when we think of ourselves than think for the benefit of the common good.
• Crab Mentality - when we think of ourselves and step on others in order to reach the top.

The list goes on and it falls in just one big problem: we think only of ourselves. When was the time you did something for others without expecting anything in return? Going back to Bayanihan: When was the time you thought of doing something that would benefit the country and not just yourself? Do you even consider the country when you make decisions? This is a wake up call for all people who live cheating even the smallest amount of anything for their favor. This is for the people who forgot their moral responsibility. This for those who lived indifferent of the needs of the society. This is for those who had been selfish. Let me quote Uncle Ben in The Amazing Spider-Man (2012): "If you could do good things for other people, you have a moral obligation to do those things. That's what at stake here. Not choice; responsibility." Our country is perishing because of the people who had been thinking or are still thinking of themselves. It is time that we make a difference. We need not only intelligent citizens, but those whose values will never be swayed; those whose principles would never break; those whose dignity would never be bought; those brave enough to stand for what is right amid all wrongs. Yes, we do have people like that. But since they are usually alone in their feat, they die, they get assassinated, they fall. Because of this, we need Bayanihan- "a collective heroic effort against great hopelessness and utter despair" that our country is now facing. To end my thoughts, allow me to quote another movie, The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008): "Professor Barnhardt: But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve. This is our moment." THIS IS OUR MOMENT. Let us preserve a Filipino tradition by thinking not only for ourselves, but our country that is bound to go to the dogs if we won't do anything about it. Be a Filipino for the Philippines.